


Feel Again

by Mcwarr



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Apologies, Break Up, Crying, Hurt, Hurt Niall, Hurt/Comfort, Instagram, Jealous Harry, Jealous Liam, Jealous Louis, Jealous Zayn, M/M, Niall-centric, Panic Attacks, Protective Bressie, Sad Niall, Snapchat, Social Media, a lot of crying, literally its just sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-10
Updated: 2016-04-10
Packaged: 2018-06-01 11:10:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6516049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mcwarr/pseuds/Mcwarr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>“We’re over then.” Louis says. “We’re done.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And that’s that. </em>
</p><p>* * OR * * </p><p>The one where OT5 breaks up and Niall learns how to live without them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Feel Again

**Author's Note:**

> NOTE: This is an ELONGATED and more DETAILED account of the story that was posted to my Tumblr. I am narrystoranwritings.tumblr.com and i just wanted to add more to this story but I didn't want to edit my tumblr post. Hope you enjoy!

“Then maybe we should just stop this whole thing.”

Louis’ cold words strike through the icy room and it feels like bullets to the chest. The silence stretches across the room violently, and Niall can feel his stuttered breath against his knees. No one says anything and it’s terrifying. They hadn’t been happy for months. Moments of laughter and happiness and peace overwhelmed by days full of dirty looks, screaming and fighting, or the absolute worst– silence. 

Each boy is standing– except for Niall, who’s been curled up on the couch for what feels like hours, even though this fight only started 30 minutes ago. Liam is angry. Niall can tell by the way his eyebrows are furrowed and how his eyes are dark and stormy. His muscled arms are crossed over his chest in a way that usually screams “overprotective boyfriend,” but at this point only screams “beware.” Zayn’s face is blank as he stands uncaringly against the wall. Although the darker skinned man may thing he’s fooling everyone with his whole “emotionless bastard” routine, Zayn’s eyes will always portray his true feelings. 

Harry looks tired. The curly haired boy was never one for fighting, especially when it came to the people he loved the most. He was the kind of guy who cried when he got into a fight with his sister. Harry wasn’t a fighter, yet this fucked up situation had turned him into a mercenary and Nial could tell that he didn’t want to fight anymore. And that terrified Niall.Louis is angry too– but that’s obvious to everyone. But, his eyes are guilty and a bit astonished and Niall understands. No one, not a single one of them, has even attempted to fight against his vile words. No one has yet to yell in defense or call Louis out for being stupid. 

They aren’t arguing against it because they’re genuinely thinking about it. 

Niall’s horrified. His eyes are watery and red and his holding his skinny knees against his chest as if somehow that’ll keep him from falling apart, but he knows he won’t be able to hold himself together for much longer.

Especially when Harry agrees with Louis.

“Yeah.” The green-eyed boy whispers, making Niall jerk his head spin shock. “Maybe we should.”

The air in the room runs thin and Niall’s breathing becomes even harsher. 

Louis looks away, and Niall knows he’s regretting his words already but he nods nevertheless. Zayn closes his eyes for a moment before shrugging in agreement. Zayn’s uncaring attitude increases by tenfold and Niall knows, and all of them know, it’s because if Zayn allows himself to care, then he’ll fight them. 

Liam nods, not willing to open his mouth and the suddenly, all eyes are on Niall.

But Niall can’t force himself to agree. He can’t allow himself to let them walk out of hi life so easily. They’re– he’s in love with them. Not only would Niall be losing the greatest loves of his life and the only relationship he’s ever been in, but he’s going to lose all of his best friends. A breakup like this doesn’t end in getting drinks every Saturday or having friendly conversations in Tesco when you bump into each other randomly. This is the kind of breakup that leaves you scarred and broken and torn– the kind of breakup that makes you jump behind counters at coffee shops when you see your exes and run a different route in the mornings because your old route goes right by their workplace. This kind of breakup would kill Niall.

But suddenly, they’re all staring at him like it’s his choice and there’s no way in hell he’s going to say that they can just leave him so he just stares back with hurt, pained eyes and shakes his head. “I’m not–” He tries, but his voice is so weak and gravely and he has no idea what he could say. ‘I’m not going to let you break up with me? I’m not going to let us stop living in misery because I’d miss you?’ No. Niall can’t do that to them. He can’t, so he just shakes his head, unable to force himself to do anything else.

But it seems like his retaliation meant nothing because Louis speaks up then. “We’re over then.” He says. “We’re done.”

And that’s that. 

Harry starts by exiting the room, packing a bag and leaving the flat without a backwards glance. Niall knows that he’s going home, and that he’ll act all brave on the train ride there until he actually sees his mum, and then he’ll burst into tears and tell her everything.

Zayn walks to the balcony with a pack of fags while Liam and Louis begin packing their things as well. 

They don’t speak another word. 

Niall assumes, once he’s the last person there, that everyone’s gone home. A burn of envy swipes through his body. There’s no going home for Niall.

This is– was– home.

Niall looks around the now barren home and allows the tears to finally flow, painful sobs and shuddering hiccups racking his frame as he remembers. 

This was supposed to be his last home. 

* * * *

Three panic attacks later, Niall finds a place to stay.

He’s been good friends with Bressie every since they met at Dynamos, an old club that they both bartended at together. After hearing that they had the same name and being dubbed, ‘bros for life,’ Niall figured he could ask a favor. 

He shows up at Bressies’ door much too late and given the taller man’s disheveled appearance, Niall had obviously woken him up. 

The blonde barely notices though, hands still shaking and clothing winkled, matching his ruffled hair and eyes even redder than that time that he and Zayn and Louis had gotten high together. 

Bressie looks confused, of course, but lets Niall in anyway. He tells the blonde he can stay however long he has to, even after Niall promises to help pay rent and cries a little bit more.

Bressie doesn’t ask and Niall silently praises the heavens.

* * * *

The first time he sees one of the boys is a week later. It’s the longest he’s gone without seeing them in a year and a half and he’s never been so lonely. He knows he looks like a right mess– Bressie isn’t afraid to tell him that every morning– but he really didn’t expect to run into Harry, who’s basically a model even on his worst days.

They’re at the apartment, their old one, and he can tell from the few boxes that are stacking Harry’s arms that he’s doing the same thing Niall intended on doing– but the only thing Niall wants to do now is run. It’s just as he knew it would be. He wishes he wasn’t staring right into Harry’s beautiful eyes because if Harry hadn’t seen him– hadn’t caught him– Niall would’ve ran.

Harry’s wearing that fur vest thing that Niall bought him last Christmas and his skinnies are as tight and black as Niall remembers. His hair is held back by one of those old headbands and Niall prays that Harry didn’t hear the whimper that Niall’s mouth just made.

Harry side-steps Niall, mumbling a soft apology, in a way that only Harry could do and makes his way down the rickety steps that they always used– forgoing the elevator out of what must be habit.

they never used the elevator because Niall was too claustrophobic.

Niall didn’t think his heart could break more.

He grabs his few things out of the bedroom quickly, noting that Louis’ and Zayn’s boxers and movies were still laying around but all of Liam’s, and most of Harry’s had disappeared. 

He’s leaving the apartment quickly, locking the door for the last time and depositing his keys underneath the rug for the last time. 

Liam had texted them the day after the big day and they somehow came to an agreement to stop their lease and give up their apartment. 

It hurt more than Niall thought it would. 

He’s walking down the stairs where he intercepts Harry once more, sitting on the stairs with tears in his eyes and shuddering breaths. Niall wishes he could do something but it’s all too awkward, too foreign. A couple of weeks ago, if Niall was in this situation, he’d cuddle himself into Harry’s arms and hug him for hours, whispering sweet words and encouraging the curly haired boy to tell him what was bothering him.

But that was then and this is now.

Harry notices his presence, wiping at his eyes and looking at Niall with a grim look, as if Niall was just some stranger who’d walked in on Harry’s moment.

Niall realizes that in some way, he kind of is.

Niall’s hands twitch, wanting nothing more than to hug Harry, but he knows that’ll just hurt so much more. 

So he nods, stepping past Harry with his boxes and makes his way down the stairs. 

“Wait- Niall.” Harry calls, voice deeper than Niall remembered. 

Niall turns on a heel, probably way too excited but–

“Where are you living, like, if you’re not living here?” He asks, looking genuinely concerned and Niall understands that Harry probably realized the same thing Niall did. While everyone else had their parents to run too, Niall had nothing. His parents disowned him long ago (around the same time he came out with not just one, but four, boyfriends) and Greg was over 500 miles away. 

“Found a place. No worries.” Niall says, doing his best to give Harry a smile while he was cursing himself inside. He shouldn’t have gotten his hopes up. He turns around before Harry can say more and he sprints out of the building, ready to go home and get in bed to cry. 

* * * *

The suspicions start just 3 weeks later.

It starts with a snapchat. 

Niall had always been the type to suffer from FOMO, whether it be with his friends, family, or boyfriends. It’s why they all agreed to not have sex if only one of them was left out. There was no exclusion nor coupling up because of Niall, basically and that worked. 

Obviously, until it didn’t.

He doesn’t even receive the snapchat. 

Of course, his heart had broken when his streaks with all four boys were broken, and when the red heart that signified he and Louis’ best friendship disappeared he collapsed into a ball of hurt and terror, but nothing could compare to this.

When he saw Liam’s snapchat story update, he was hesitant. Not because he thought this would happen, but because he didn’t think he could handle seeing Liam’s face or hearing his voice without breaking into millions of pieces. 

But nothing could’ve readied Niall for seeing Zayn’s giggly, squinty-eyed face staring back at him, Starbucks coffee cup steaming in his hand. 

Niall drops his phone. 

Confusion and pain sinks in quicker than any other emotion and soon enough, Niall can’t breathe. 

Bressie finds him four hours later, sobbing behind the couch, blanket curled around his form like a lifeline as he shakes and shudders. 

Bressie holds him by the shoulders, feeling his cold face in his large hands and shaking his head, eyes scrunched and concerned as he finally asks, “Nialler, what’s happened to you?” he whispers.

For some reason, Bressie had accepted some unspoken kind of “Don’t ask, don’t tell,” policy, but after walking in on his newly instated roommate crying and throwing up and screaming a few times, it became clear that Bressie deserved at least a little bit of the story. 

* * * *

It’s around 1am 2 weeks after that when he sees it. 

He was just scrolling on instagram, not actively looking for anything when he sees it and his world just shatters.

He didn’t expect it to hit him as hard as it did, making him heave out of bed and promptly throw up the minute he got to the bathroom. He’s crying harder than he did after the break up– and that says something. he can hear Bressie pounding on the door of the bathroom, yelling something Niall can’t understand over the overwhelming amounts of sobs that are leaving his mouth.  
His phone is left abandoned, tiny crack at the top of the screen where Louis had once accidentally dropped it whilst trying to take selfies. The screen is still illuminated, brightening the pitch black room around it. It’s still frozen on the inevitable, small picture that holds a pair of handsome, tipsy and genuinely happy looking men, with around 145 likes. The caption is simple, yet thunderous and extravagant in meaning. 

_“And after all these things I’ve done, I think I love you better now.”_

* * * *

Niall doesn’t really get better. 

He goes to work now, keeping his head down on his commute, hands stuffed in his pockets as he braves the windy and damp streets of London. He doesn’t get as much in tips anymore. He used to get tons, flirting with all the ladies and men that he could, Irish charm shining through as he would smirk and bicker lightly. Now his regulars give him estranged looks and his boss asks him what’s wrong with him. He feels like he’s constantly sick, like he used to feel maybe once or twice every few months, but he can’t skip work every day. He has to pay his half of rent for Bressie and he has to keep living. Even if the boys have been doing so without him. 

* * * * 

Bressie takes him on a trip.

It’s short, just over a weekend, and it’s a long drive, but Niall doesn’t complain. There aren’t many mountainous regions in the United Kingdom, but the ones that Bressie found are beautiful. They stay in a cabin and Niall feels like he’s in one of those American movies that are full of meaningful quotes and sad endings that are accompanied by soft indie songs. 

He breathes air for what feels like the first time in his life and he feels alive again. 

He’s not fixed, but he hugs Bressie harder than he’s ever hugged anyone and he whispers a quiet “thank you.” 

It’s not much, but it’s all he can do.

That day he uploads a picture. It’s a solo shot of him against the fence of one of the hikes Bressie took him on. The sun is behind his head, making it somewhat silhouetted but still extenuating the beauty of the background. He captions the photo, “In a world that changes everyday, it’s easy to get lost along the way,” quoting Kodaline. 

He ignores the fact that the first four likes are under much too familiar names. 

* * * *

And Niall breathes easier. 

* * * *

It all goes to shit a few days later. 

He’s working around 11pm and it’s Friday, their busiest day by far, which means there’s a lot of thirsty people around. Niall’s smiling, which is kind of a change. Bressie’s by his side, cracking jokes and making Niall a bit more confident and happy. He’s flirting with a cute lass, not particularly his type, seeing as she hasn’t got a dick, but cute nonetheless. She’s irish as well, which makes him even more keen on chatting her up, along with her group of girls, who are each hollering and hooting as he winks and chuckles. He’s gonna get a good tip tonight, that’s for sure. 

He doesn’t even really notice their entrance. It’s all too busy and the ringing of the door’s bell has been drowned out since 7. 

Bressie is the one who notifies him, wrapping large arms around his frame and whispering in his ear in a way that could possibly be seen as romantic, telling from the interested look the group of girls’ is giving him. 

“Your exes are here.” Bressie whispers and Niall’s blood runs cold. Not now, not when he had just gotten better. 

Niall immediately sinks down, back pressed against the cooler that’s slightly embedded in the bar. He won’t be visible to the outsiders. He can see Bressie looking at him strangely, but he instantly shakes his look, moving his eyes elsewhere as he acknowledges someone with a slight nod. There’s no usual smile that Bressie would give– especially to people attempting to get drinks and Niall knows it’s them. 

Bressie shakes his head, “No, sorry.” He says, voice deep and harsh, definitely not at all sorry. He hears more grumbling and Bressie shakes his head again, “No. Sorry.” He repeats, just as deep and just as harsh. 

“Look.” Bressie says, making Niall jump a bit. “I’m not going to help you. I don’t like you. At fucking all. So I’m just going to ask you to kindly get the fuck out of here, else I’ll have to call security.” The Irishman says in a growl that Niall had yet to ever hear from him. 

Niall waits for a couple minutes before standing up, brushing off his black jeans and smiling slightly at the bewildered looking girls that he was once talking to. “Exes.” He says with a shrug, making them dissolve into a fit of understanding, druken giggles. He can’t help but smile back feeling the adrenaline spike through his veins as he winks at Bressie. 

That night, he leaves the bar with three guys’ numbers stuffed in the back pocket of his jeans and he uploads another picture. This time it’s a picture of he and Bressie behind the bar, pouring drinks all “candidly” like right arses but Niall likes the way his hair looks and his eyes look blue and Bressie’s hot as all fuck and maybe, just maybe, Niall wants the boys to see it. They’re missing out. 

He captions the photo, _“Rule Number 1: You gotta have fun.”_ And leaves it at that.

The picture gets 342 likes, missing 4 familiar names. 

* * * *

Niall stops crying every night. 

He and Bressie kiss twice, but upon realizing that it wouldn’t ever work (not mentioning the fact that Niall isn’t at all ready to date anyone), they decide to not make anything of it. 

Niall hangs out with new people. Different people he meets around the bar, or playing guitar at a local coffee shop, he finds new people every day and it’s interesting. Niall forgot how introverted he became over the years he dated the boys. The blonde had become so dependent on the boys that he forgot that human contact outside of relationships was important. He meets a group of guys that are an upcoming band. They play sometimes at the bar and Niall really likes them– Five Seconds of Summer. They’re genuine and kind and stay around after closing to drink with Niall and Bressie. 

But it doesn’t fix the void that’s stuck in his chest. He misses his boys and he doesn’t know what to do. They don’t want him, but they’re looking for him. He knows because he’s hidden behind the bar more than enough times as Bressie tells them over and over to kindly fuck off. 

They like his Instagram pictures– but only the ones of him alone. Whenever Bressie or one of his new friends accompanies him, Niall notices that they steer clear of it, which could, of course, be an accident.

Then he gets a call. He’s cleaning up alone at the bar, just before opening and Bressie’s running a bit late. It’s only a Wednesday, so there probably won’t be much of a crowd, but he can’t open alone. 

It’s Louis. His contact had lost it’s heart only after Niall handed it off to Bressie, unable to delete the heart emojis on his own. 

He contemplates clicking the red ignore button, he really does. But it comes down to it and He can’t. 

"Hello?" He answers, attempting to sound as if he wasn't staring at the caller ID before answering. 

Louis stays silent for a moment before inhaling, somewhat shakily, and coughing out, "Hey Niall, it's, uh, Lou-is." He says his name awkwardly in two syllables, at first using the old nickname that the boys had used and then, maybe upon realizing that Niall wouldn't feel comfortable with that, switched to his full name. 

Niall lets out a light chuckle despite his pounding heart. "Alright, Lou-is." He says, holding the phone away as he exhales deeply. They don't need to know how scared he is.

The silence stretches for a bit longer and Niall begins to feel uneasy, not at all sure why they aren't speaking or why they even called in the first place. 

"Look, Niall... we just... are you busy right now?" He asks, and Niall notes the fact that he said, 'we,' attempting to ignore the pang in his heart. 

Niall's head jerks up as Bressie walks into the bar, bell jingling loudly as Bressie barges through, singing some song much too loudly. Niall holds back a laugh as Bressie promptly notices the phone in his hand and shuts his mouth. 

"Uh..." Niall says, still laughing a bit. "I'm working tonight, sorry." 

Louis' voice is firm as he responds. "You still working at the bar? Every time we've been we haven't seen you around. Your little friend always says you're not around." He says, an edge to his voice that Niall remembers from the few times that guys would try and flirt with Niall in front of the other guys, obviously thinking it was just a "bro's night out," 

Niall shifts uncomfortably, not entirely understanding Louis' crossness, but he answers back just as bitingly, mostly just to spit Louis (and probably the other three that were listening in over speakerphone), "Yeh, Bressie's pretty protective." He murmurs slyly, ignoring Bressie's confused look. "Ever since I've moved in we've gotten pretty close." Niall says minutely, as if the information doesn't matter although he knows how it could affect the boys.

"Moved in?!" Someone with a voice shockingly similar to Harry's screeches. There's other mumbles of confusion across the phone and Niall angrily rolls his eyes. 

"Oh? Didn't know this was a conference call, now did I? Forget to mention that one, _Lou_?" Niall says mockingly. "You all have clearly moved on, now let me do the same." He spits, clicking the red button before he can hear another word. 

Bessie's hug surprises him, but only a little bit. As Bressie does, completely loyal and perfect, he doesn't even ask, not even when Niall goes to the back to have a quick cry. 

* * * *

He gets 17 more calls before they show up at the bar. 

Niall had seen it coming, of course, but he had no way of telling them not to, especially when he was ignoring them as it was. 

He had spoken to them, that should be enough. 

The bar wasn't packed like it would be on the weekends, which made it much more difficult to duck down behind the bar, seeing as it wasn't completely overcrowded with people as it usually was. Niall hears the jingling bell and instantly looks up as he had been all night. Sure enough, he sees four, painfully recognizable figures standing in the doorway, searching the bar like some kind of hounds. 

"Fuck." Niall curses, looking over to Bressie, who seems to have noticed their presence as well. 

Niall wants to hide, wants to let Bressie lie for him again, but he can't. He can't when he's told them he was working, when he forced himself to pick up that phone he was making a commitment. 

Niall finds himself wishing he had just continued to ignore their existence.

They see him, obviously because he's only one of two people at the bar and the other one is 196 pounds of muscle and man. 

He makes himself busy, wiping down the bar and conversating with people on Bressie's side, it's a cycle, but there's no avoiding them. 

"Eyup, mate, we'll have the usual." Someone says, not the boys, thank god, and Niall turns to some of his regulars. His smile is too bright and his voice is a bit too high, but no one really seems to notice. He's lost track of the boys and it's putting him on edge. 

He's in the middle of a conversation with one of his regulars, shift eyes somewhat diminished, but still instated, when a deep, raspy voice intervenes. "Excuse me, mate, do ya mind if we steal your bartender for a minute?" 

It's Liam and Niall wants to die. 

Liam with all his muscles and facial hair and kind, warm eyes and stupid puppy-dog smile. The customer looks confused, but is ready to give his acceptance when Niall interrupts. 

"I'm pretty sure every person in this bar would mind, ya know, seeing as I'm the 'tender and I'm on the clock." Niall disputes, eyes narrowed. 

Liam has the decency to not look surprised at Niall's anger. 

"You can't make an exception?" He asks, in that tiny little voice that he usually only used in bed when he was praising how good of a boy Niall was be-- Niall cuts off his mind. Not the time. 

"Nope." He says shortly, making quick eye contact with the rest of the boys, who are sitting in their usual booth, where they'd go when Niall was working long hours and they didn't want him walking home alone. "If you and your _buddies_ want to order something, go right ahead, but I'm not going to be caught dead spending 'quality time' with the four assholes that broke my heart." Niall growls, watching in what feels like vengeance as he sees Liam's eyes flash with guilt and hurt. 

Niall walks away with a bit more swing in his step. 

* * * *

Two weeks later, Niall sends Zayn a happy birthday text and receives 18 messages back within 20 minutes. 

He doesn't delete them.

* * * * 

A few days after that, when Niall's getting coffee with Ashton, one of the guys from the band at the bar, they see Harry.

Of course, in some way, Harry and Ashton know each other and do the whole bro-hug thing in front of Niall, and then Harry tries to hug Niall. 

The blonde knows what he's trying to do-- pretending as if they're strangers and doing the "Harry thing" where he hugs the new person, but Niall knows the brunette isn't that delusional. Harry knows exactly what he's doing and so does Niall.

So, when Harry actually does go to hug Niall, the blonde pours his coffee on the brunettes shoes. 

* * * *

After 3 more days of "miraculously" running into the boys in different random situations, they call him.

Niall thinks about not answering, he thinks about pretending to hate them and not want to hear another word from them but honestly, he's tired of their games and he's ready to just move on.

If they'd allow it.

He meets them 20 minutes later in Liam’s new apartment. It’s awkward. They all look the same as they did in the bar, the same as they did before the breakup, and Niall’s head spins as he realizes that they’re checking him out as he walks in. He’s wearing the same clothes, still black skinnies and tee shirt Niall, but his hair is grown out, his face is a bit brighter. He doesn’t look like he did when they properly saw him. He hadn’t been crying for the past three weeks, his face wasn’t hollow and he had been eating three meals every day. He was healthy. He was happy.

Without them.

So he smiles. 

He smiles and greets them as if they’re old family, because they kind of are. He smiles and they stare at him with reddened eyes and confused faces. “Hey lads.” He says, accent thicker than he remembered, probably because of all the time he’s spent with Bressie.

“Niall.” Louis says back, lowly. “We… wanted to apologize.” He says cautiously and Niall nods, pretending not to feel the pang of disappointment. 

“Oh yeah?” Niall prompts, trying his best not to come off at entitled, but feeling a strong inclination to roll his eyes.

Harry stands, coming closer to Niall, who takes a step back, unsure. “Niall, look, we made a mistake. We should’ve never broken up. We… we were all idiots and I know you weren’t– you didn’t want it to happen and we should’ve listened but we didn’t and we’re idiots and Liam and Zayn figured it out first and then me and then Louis but you weren’t there and everything was wrong and you– you left–” 

“I left?" Niall asks, eyes scrunching as he glares at Harry, who looks affronted at his own words. "I left." Niall repeats. "Don't you ever for a second say that I left, because I am actually the one only who didn't leave! You left me!” Niall screams, cutting off Harry as the shout shreds his vocal chords. The room goes silent. The blaring quiet is all too familiar and Niall wants to curl up into a ball before he can hear all of them state the reasons that they didn’t want him all over again. 

“We didn’t… Niall, please.” Harry whimpers, legs shaking like he’s about to fall to his knees. “We’re so, so sorry.” 

“We didn’t know how to approach you. We were scared. You were the one that we just… we couldn’t find you anywhere and suddenly, you pop back on the grid and you’re all over this… Bressie… and you’re living with him and he’s defending you all the time, jesus, Ni, what were we supposed to think?” Liam defends, sitting on the chair and rubbing a hand through his now thick hair. Vaguely, Niall remembers the time when Liam buzzed it all off without telling anyone– how Louis had nearly stabbed him when he came through the door because he thought his boyfriend was a robber. 

Niall’s eyes tighten as he argues, "You were supposed to never hurt me in the first place! You were supposed to talk to me instead of letting me find out that you were all back together for weeks before you even tried to contact me!"

“We thought you’d hate us, Niall please, we love you so, so much. Please.” Harry begs and Niall hates that he has no balls. 

He hates himself as he places his head in his hands, groaning angrily. He wants to forgive them so badly, he wants them so badly. He misses them. They miss him. 

But they destroyed him.

He makes a split decision. Whether he’ll hate himself for it later or not, he isn’t sure, but he decides it’s worth the risk. 

“I can't believe I'm doing this." He mutters, "You’re going to have to work for it.” Niall says, ignoring the smile that tugs on his lips as each of the boys light up considerably. “I’m serious. Court me all over again. Apologies every night.” He mentions. “I’m living with Bressie until you prove yourselves. No questions asked.” He demands and the boys nod eagerly. 

“Anything.” Zayn says, fingers twirling in excitement and Niall finally lets a little smile, no teeth, mind you, show through. 

The boys seem to take this as complete confirmation as he's accepting them and Niall holds up a hand. "I swear to god, this doesn't mean I'm forgiving you. I'm not. yet." He strains and the boys nod solemnly. 

“We’re never ending this stupid thing again, I promise.” Louis says, moving with arms open, testing if Niall would accept a hug. 

Niall rolls his eyes and opens his arms, allowing himself to feel complete for what felt like the first time all year. 

That night, Niall uploads another photo, all four of them cuddled on the couch, euphoric after watching some disney film. The caption reads, _“We’re not broken, just bent, and we can learn to love again.”_

The picture gets 534 likes.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys I really enjoyed writing this one :) Idk how the ending will go over but i didn't want niall to leave and i didn't want him to forgive super easily hahahahah .... I'm a mess sorry lol i should be doing homework but instead I'm writing gay fan fiction i love my life


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